I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
