I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
