if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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