no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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