My friends, they love my intelligence
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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