Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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