Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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