I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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