using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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