Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
