come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
