The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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