i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
