She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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