how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
