your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
