Swine flu. Run for my life!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
