what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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