Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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