Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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