I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
