he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
