nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
