we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
