would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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