Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
