Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
