She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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