9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
