Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
