Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
