I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
