fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
