is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
