There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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