Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
