WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
bring money and cleavage
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She bit a glass in half.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
