do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
