physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
