I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
