I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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