My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
How drunk are you?
Completed.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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