So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
