I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
