ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
