She said her name was "party"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
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We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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