Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize