im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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