Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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