between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
