i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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