just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
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The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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