He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
