Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
