he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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