You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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