Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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