4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
