okay pat passed out under dana's car
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
