Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
