god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
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Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
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The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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