whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
