Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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