No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
